The Stupidity Law

I really think there should be a law defense attorneys and the general citizens of any nation can use called “The Stupidity Law.” It means, if the prosecution did something so incredibly stupid you could consider them mentally repaired, you can call the Stupidity Law to your defense. Let me give you some examples.

1) The kid at the amusement park: This kid at an amusement park was decapitated by a roller coaster after jumping two, (not one, two!) fences covered with signs saying “DANGER, DO NOT CLIMB OVER FENCE!” You would think one would be smart enough not to put himself in a position where any moment a 65 MPH roller coaster would shoot by and possibly kill you. Of course however, this is the great America, so there will be a lawsuit. All this does is bring awful PR to the park, and for something so stupid I don’t think even they saw it coming. They should be able to use The Stupidity Law to shoo the unfortunate kid’s family away.

2) Sports players can’t believe they got caught doing anything illegal, or are sued: Just because you are a star who everyone loves does not mean you are invincible. Roger Clemons, we know you took steroids, you’re not fooling anyone. You should have done what Andy Petite did and no one would care anymore. Now you’re going to jail. Michael Vick, what you did was not just illegal, it was heartless. Why are you surprised so many of your fans have left you? Why are you surprised to be in jail? You’re just as much of a citizen as everyone else, even if you don’t think so. Here The Stupidity Law comes in to the defense of the people against these morons.

3) People who foreclose and say “they didn’t know how much they were paying”, and the mortgage companies giving them the loans to begin with: Hell-o peoples! Let’s think for a second. I’m the average American making b/w 75-150 K a year. I just signed up for a 550 K mortgage because there was only 2% down. I now owe for this house about five times what I make a year, and I have about thirty to make it up. Seriously, what are the chances I can afford that? Now let’s look on the other side of the spectrum. I am a broker, and I give you a loan with no money down, and you don’t even have to tell me you credit or assets, and I seriously think you’re going to pay me back. The Stupidity Law comes in and boldly says on behalf of everyone thinking it, “you have no right to sue, complain, or show any bit of surprise, you’re the only idiot here.”

4) Medical patients who sue because they screwed up: If I’m a doctor, and I give you implicit instructions on really anything, I think it’s fair to expect you to follow them. If I tell you to take one pill in the morning when you wake up, and one at night before you go to bed, then if you decide to take six to get better faster, that’s not my fault. If I tell you not to walk around, and you ignore me and fall and are severly hurt in the process, you shouldn’t be able to sue me for malpractice. The worst part of this is that doctors today are very conservative in caution of lawsuits, and that should never be the case. They should be able to use The Stupidity Law in their defense any time someone decides they know better.

It’s cases like these that always amaze me. Think about how many people would sleep more soundly at night with this law in place.

GYA out